Worth It
by Ella Cieux
Summary: Sometimes even the pain is worth it for the ones you love. GH first time... not a typical first time scene


Authors note: This is probably just a oneshot. But I needed this to be written, or it needed me to write it. Its not the bed of roses you all are used too but its something real.

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Ginny smiled as she felt an arm go around her shoulders. She knew who it was, not that there where many choices really, but it was definitely Harry. Definitely Harry who was currently sitting down on the bench next to her without saying a word. Just his arm resting over her shoulders, fingers caressing the tops of her own bare arms softly. She was so thankful it was summer, for some reason skin on skin contact with Harry was something she loved even if it was just her arm.

They'd been dating now "officially" for six months, in reality they'd been together since that night at the Department of Mysteries when they'd almost lost everyone. A year, it seemed so long in her mind. She was only fifteen anyway a day still passed slowly to her a whole year, 365 days, was still so long. She wondered silently to herself if Harry's extra year meant things passed quicker, or maybe (just because of who he was) they seemed to go slower.

Six months, the first two had been so awkward trying to figure out how to act around each other, kissing happened only once or twice. The next two months had been getting used to being… well used to each other, they'd had their first fight. Something petty, it was almost as if they needed some change they got it alright. Then, after three days of glaring at each other, they wound up clinging to each other by the lake in tears. Last month had been so hectic with leaving school and trying to persuade the adults to let Harry come to the burrow faster that they'd hardly had any time to be with each other. Now two weeks had passed since Harry arrived. Harry was sleeping with Ron in Bill's old room, Remus and Sirius (who had felt the need to come with) where up in Ron's room. There was little nightly sneaking to be had even though it was obvious her mother thought otherwise.

This was their time together, after dinner but before it became to late to be 'decent.' Right after the sun went down they made a habit of meeting under this old tree that was separated from the house. The latest they'd managed to stay out was one in the morning the other night. Until Remus had shown up and politely told them it was time to go to bed, _separately. _It was only nine so they still had their time together, hopefully Ron wasn't in one of his pissed off moods and came out again.

"Its so very humid," She said finally breaking the comfortable silence.

"The clouds say its going to rain," Harry agreed looking up into the sky.

With that they moved to the ground resting against the trunk of their old tree. Ginny burrowed in against Harry's chest even though it was too hot for body contact. Harry didn't seem to notice the heat anymore and slid his arms around her, one hand slowly stroking her abdomen. Even though the first few strokes made her muscle jump, and she had to force herself to relax, this wasn't abnormal. Neither was the odd burning sensation that was slowly dripping between her legs. This was all very normal for them, for her.

Harry's hand stopped caressing her stomach and slid his hand up under her chin, pressing her to look up at him. She leaned up and met his lips with her own. They kissed, the same as always… yet it always felt different. Slow and almost timid turned to pressing and desperate. They kissed until their lungs screamed for them to stop, screamed at them to pull apart. But only for a few seconds, only to breath in the stale hot air, before they were merged again.

She jumped.

God, she needed to get used to the feelings of being touched, or at least learn to brace herself for them. She told herself to relax, this time has his free hand stroked her backside lovingly. Still her muscles tightened and fluttered under his touch, she knew he could feel it but so far he'd said nothing of it. Maybe in time her newness to this all would fade.

It could have been just minute now or possibly an hour, she never quiet got the hang of time when they where together like this. Sometimes one kiss felt like it went on for hours when in fact it'd only been a minute. And then there where times when it felt they'd only just began and already she could hear someone coming to tell them they where out too late.

She head the thunder as she moved herself so she was straddling his stretched out legs. This was normal, even as her denim skirt rose to just barely cover the pastel pink of her plain underwear. They hadn't been here for a while, only a few days ago they'd been caught like this (except her skirt had been more or less bunched at her navel) by Sirius. She let out a soft moan, not having realized Harry's lips where now on her neck his hands gripping tightly at her waist. She moaned again as his thumbs brushed upwards hitting just under the wiring of her bra. The burning pool seemed stronger, never could she bring herself to describe it as fiery as they did in the smut novels stashed beneath her bed, burning was even a bit of a stretch to describe the feeling. It was more like a warm dampness, like only the junction of her legs was being submerged in a very warm bathtub. The feelings on her skin where perfectly described by those novels. She felt overheated, like she had a fever, and even her arms where flushed but not by a blush for once.

Only when Harry let out a strangled moan did she become aware of the fact she had began rocking on his legs, pushing against his evident arousal through every gyration. He began kissing her lips again, his fingers fumbling to pop open the buttons on her summer blouse. Once he'd managed, it was partially her fault it had taken so long for she could stop moving, it was pushed off her shoulders and let fall onto his legs.

She was sweating now, so was he, her hair was sticking to her forehead. There was a bead of sweat trailing down between her breasts, and it fell uninterrupted just to be soaked up by the now off white cloth that held her bra together.

She grabbed the bottom of Harry's shirt and yanked it ungracefully over his head. Dropping it on the grass her hand dropped to rest on her now sweat cooled thighs. Well the tops where cool, but she knew the insides felt like an inferno especially in the spots that where being chaffed by the denim of Harry's pants. This was all normal, but any steps further they took would put them in uncharted territory.

Ginny linked her hands with Harry's even if the motive behind it was too see what time it was. Nine thirty, they still had time. She pressed her lips against Harry's, hard enough she could feel their teeth hitting from behind the two thin layers of skin. She pressed her self to him, finally managing to control the gyrations. She was a little unsure how to react to the curved bulge that was pressing against her sex. So she rocked against it, Harry pulled away (thunking his head against the trunk of the tree) moaning loudly. _Oh_

She couldn't stop again, but this time she began kissing his neck. She slid a hand between them, she was breaking their record now just from this simple act of sliding down the zipper. She was going to tug down those pants but remembered the button only as they didn't budge. Pretending not to be embarrassed she flicked open the button before quickly pushing the jeans down and off of him. She tried to desperately to suppress a giggle as she saw that he had a strange character on his boxers of a masked man dressed in some strange blue and red suite with what appeared to be spider web designs on them. But it was futile and the giggle came out. It was Harry's time to blush and quickly remove the source of his embarrassment, along with his wire framed glasses.

She wanted to look at Harry, she'd never seen _that_ before but she was too embarrassed. So instead she closed her eyes and rested her forehead on his shoulder. She felt Harry fumbling with the clasp of her bra, he pinched her once or twice before finally removing it. She had to pull back as she helped him slide it down her arms to pull it off. And with this she caught sight of his member, she wasn't aroused by it. Actually she was fairly unnerved by seeing it, not quiet repulsed but by no means did it make her want him more.

She realized he was taking her in much the way she'd been trying not to look at him. She blushed profusely and felt her nipples harden in a tingling manner, not from being aroused but just from the sheer nervousness she felt.

Suddenly she felt herself being moved to lay on the grass, her head resting uncomfortably on a root not too far beneath the ground. Just as she tried to adjust her position did she realize that her skirt was now gone. Her panties, the middle which where completely soaked to her embarrassment, where being half torn half yanked from her body. Just as the realization dawned on her that she was, _oh god_, completely naked she felt a raindrop hit her square in the forehead.

They where going to have sex, outside, and in the rain. God this was nothing like she pictured it in her dreams. She could feel the grass stains forming on her back. She looked up expecting to be reassured by Harry, the man… boy, she truly did love. Instead he looked as terrified as she felt, the rain and sweat where dripping off his face right onto hers. She'd never asked about sex, but suddenly she knew this was a first… for both of them.

She knew the basic mechanics of it, insert this into that… basically. Harry kissed her as he nudged apart her legs with a knee. With his hands on either side of her face he tried to press into her with out guidance. With a yelp after she'd felt his member bending downwards he freed a hand to help guide him in. It was drizzling steadily now.

She was never prepared for the pain she felt just as the tip of his member pressed into her. _Dear god, _she let out a soft sob that Harry didn't notice. She was petrified and he was new to this. Even when she pleasured herself, which she secretly did no more than a finger had ever actually been inside her.

"I love you," Harry whispered.

It should have been her clue as to what was coming, but dumbly she never expected. He pushed into her, still guiding himself. _No_, her mind screamed from the pain, he was trying to split her in two. She could feel something slick dripping between them and knew it had nothing to do with arousal. Even with the rain beginning to pour she could smell the copper of her own blood. Harry didn't noticed but instead began to pump against her, but he didn't actually move much.

It felt like sandpaper. She felt nauseated. It sounded primal.

There was nothing beautiful about this, those damn books had lied to her. She was in pain, like someone trying to pry her apart. No longer aroused she grasped onto Harry contemplating pulling away. But suddenly she felt something spark thought her as he accidentally brushed against her clit. _Fire_, she didn't stop him, even as the brief moment of pleasure faded once more to the indescribable pain. She wanted this more than anything, she wanted to bear through the pain. It was like flying. She'd been terrified and had fallen the first three times on that old broom. But everyone once in a while she caught something joyous and new she had to push through.

Even though she knew, ultimately, this was what she wanted it still hurt. Tears where leaking from her eyes, mixing with the rain and sweat. Harry was lost, now pressing roughly into her his eyes screwed shut. It was so clichéd but a violent clap of thunder roared over them she felt something running inside of her.

"Oh god!" she exclaimed as Harry came.

It was over and at least one of them had found it enjoyable. Harry pulled out too quickly and she flinched.

"I love you," she whispered softly as her clung to her, as if afraid she would disappear.

She pulled herself away and dressed in her soaked clothing. Harry stared at her in a daze as she threw his clothing on to him. Still crying, but he couldn't tell in this rain, she smiled weakly before running for the house in a strange manner. She paused before she entered the house, to wipe a trail of blood from her calf.

Softly from behind her she heard a whisper even through the rain of, "I love you."

And it was worth it.


End file.
